Wednesday, 14 May 2014

stranded haunted island

I wake up where am I. I'm in the middle of nowhere, is this a stranded island. I think so. 'BOB!' I yell looking for my friend. What happened i was just fishing in a calm see?. I hear a feint 'hello' is that Bob? I start walking towards the voice as it gets louder 'help!' I hear very close to me. the voice goes away. I look around and see a rock with the top of Bobs head sticking out. I run as fast as I can over to him but I was to late. Blood was coming out his mouth and ears. What. Something is wrong that is not normal. I look closer and see bite marks on his face ,the marks are small but deep. What should i do with the body if I leave it there it will get eaten by the wildlife but if i take what would I do with it? It would be to hard for me to bury it by myself. I leave it and walk away fighting off a cry. I get more away from the water and deeper into the forest. It is now turning night and i am hungry I have ate since this morning. I pull a long stick out of a tree and sharpen it with the one item i have a pocket knife. the stick is now sharp and i am ready to hunt. I start looking with no time to loose, searching for an easy animal to kill. i find one its a pig down by a water hole I sneak up and hide in a bush 10 meters away but the pig noes I am here. I leap out of the bush only to find no pig. I keep looking and find a goat. this time I have to be sure I can get it before I go for it. I hide in a bush again but this time only 5 meters away. I wait a little and a little more. Then I jump out and stab the goat in the throat. The goat dies instantly. The goat was just lying there so still. I pick it up and haul it over my shoulder. Holding the goat over my shoulder with one hand and the spear in my other i walk off to find shelter. A fallen tree was the best shelter i could find for now but tomorrow I will build a better shelter. Flames build up as i get my fire going. The goat was now sitting next to me I cut a piece of meat off its back and stick it onto the end of a stick. I have now finished roasting the goat and eat it before I go to sleep. I wake up at 8 A.M. The sun is fierce


  1. good writing. and quite disturbing.

  2. Yikes Oscar - that was quite a terrifying read! It was very interesting and I liked the way you described your emotions (fighting off a cry). There are a few surface things you need to look at. For example, capital letters - especially for the word "I". Read it out to yourself and you will see that you have missed some words in places.

    It is important that you use paragraphs and punctuation at all times when you are writing. It makes it a lot easier to read when you organise your ideas in paragraphs.

    What are you going to write next? Im looking forward to reading your next posts! :)